Invasion
by CosmicInflux
Summary: Fred and George have a problem and they require Hermione's assistance. Now. Story unfolds drabble-style.
1. Entreaty

"Granger, we need your help."

Fred stood in front of Hermione, looking decidedly less posh than normal. His robes had tiny rips and what appeared to be miniature bite marks chewed out of the magenta fabric. Hair in disarray, strands were swept up and around and in curly swirls.

Cautiously, Hermione examined his face, and then his apparel, before raising her eyes to his.

"What exactly is it for you require my assistance?"

She wasn't sure if she wanted to help if her own robes would end up in a similar state.

"There's been an… invasion of sorts in the shop." His voice dropped low, speaking as though they weren't alone in her flat.

Hermione raised an eyebrow in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"Invasion?"

Fred nodded furiously, eyes wide with entreaty.

"It's tearing up the place something awful. I left Georgie—Oh, gods! I left George with that thing!"

Frantic, he darted towards her fireplace and had barely tossed the floo powder in and yelled the shop before he was stepping into the flames. With a familiar _whoosh_, Fred had gone and Hermione stood alone in her flat, bewildered.


	2. Saviour

Shaking her head and muttering to herself not to, she followed Fred into the fireplace and Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Stepping out of the hearth, her widening eyes took in the wreckage.

Scorch marks spattered the walls and shelves were knocked over while products lay in pieces around the shop. Speechless, she looked around and then up for the twins. When she spotted two figures huddling near the railing, she shouted up to them.

"What on earth is going on here?"

The twins jumped and peered down at her before scrambling to stand.

"Granger," they both called, voices tinged with desperation, "does this mean you'll help?"

Sighing, she looked around the shop in its disorder, and nodded with apprehension twirling in her gut.

With fluid grace, they rushed down the stairs and swept her into their arms, cheering, "We're saved!"

She chuckled and began opening her mouth to speak when a curious noise echoed in the damaged shop.

* * *

**A/N: The next piece.**


	3. Unveiled

The boys stiffened, while Hermione turned her head to find the maker.

It stood on its hind legs, paws to its mouth nibbling what appeared part of a sandwich. "It's eating my lunch, Fred!"

Thrusting an arm out and shaking it in a "be quiet!" motion, Hermione inched forward slightly, incredulous.

Its bushy tail twitched at her movement and fixed its black eyes on hers. Startled and disconcerted at the intensity of the gaze, she recoiled slightly.

Whispering, "This is the invasion you were talking about?"

The twins nodded wordlessly, staring in horror as the creature tipped onto four legs and scurried to a toppled shelf before jumping on it. Fred let out a girlish, high pitched noise of fright and gripped Hermione's shoulder tightly.

"…It's a squirrel."

* * *

**A/N: You get the picture. It's the next piece.**


	4. Fail

Her voice dripped disbelief and she twisted her neck to stare into Fred's frightened eyes dubiously. Seeing only fear, she turned to look at George, identical to Fred with the same horror bleeding into every line on his face. She returned her attention to the squirrel eating George's lunch, gazing blankly at the creature.

Finally, she spoke, "What about this squirrel makes you unable to capture it?"

Fred and George looked at each other, before glancing at the squirrel, and then directed their eyes towards Hermione once more.

"It's been eating the products." George started nervously.

Hermione's brows furrowed and she looked at him in slight confusion. Both brows relaxed, before rising as she comprehended.

"So… this squirrel could, hypothetically, eat a Puking Pastille and be affected?"

Fred's face became miserable, "Don't go in the storage room."

Hermione's eyebrows rose.

"Why haven't you stunned it?"

"We've tried. It's too fast. We also tried _incendio_," George said, pointing to the black marks along the walls.

Shaking her head, she lifted her wand slowly and leveled it at the squirrel before speaking clearly, "_Petrificus totalus_."

The spell left her wand promptly and with perfection, but as the squirrel's ears twitched and its eyes swung around to approaching spell, it jumped off the shelf and darted out of sight.

Stunned, Hermione blinked.

"I see."


	5. Floo

In a mad flurry of movement, they knocked elbows and hips to reach the doorway of the twins' flat and once safely inside, they each spelled the door shut. Fred even cast a spell at the window. "Just in case. Squirrels, y'know?" The three collapsed on the bright orange couch; their legs tangled and heads resting close.

Hermione, "We need a plan."

Fred, "It's the devil."

George, "We may be better off letting it have the run of the shop and the three of us living out the rest of our fulfilling lives in this here flat, summoning food and keeping one another company for as long as we three shall live."

Hermione, "George?"

"Yeah, Hermione?"

"There is a floo."


	6. Deal

George shrugged, his shoulder lifting hers as it was resting atop it. "Who says I wasn't propositioning you to be with us?"

Hermione flushed slightly, but snorted to cover up her embarrassment.

"That'll be the day you hug that squirrel."

Both twins looked over the top of her head (she was snuggly in between the two) at each other before grinning.

"And if I do?" George continued, keeping his voice light.

Laughing, she jokingly said, "Then I guess I'll just have to live with the two of you, 'for as long as we three shall live'."

"Deal." The two voices spoke in unison before abruptly sitting forward, brainstorming how to capture the animal.

Without support, Hermione slid between Fred's back and the sofa cushions. Startled, she said, "Wait, what?"


	7. Bugger

"We could eat breakfast for dinner."

"You could use some spice, 'Mione."

"And we would bring it to you in bed."

Hermione broke in, "Why would I be in bed around six to seven at night?"

"Maybe you're tired."

"Or we wore you out." Wraggled eyebrows.

"We could have sleepovers in the living room!"

"We'd even let you pick out some horrid chick flick."

"I do not watch chick flicks!"

"You could make use of our lab…"

A pause.

"Georgie, I think we've got her!"

"We have loads of rare, expensive ingredients."

"_Loads_."

"You could play with them, Hermione."

"Think of it."

"And we're constantly going out and getting books."

"_Constantly_."

"You could go get them for us and get five or seven for yourself."

"We'd let you put them on the store account."

A considering brow raise.

"Crookshanks could live with us."

"He could have his very own room, if you'd like."

"Filled to the brim with scratch posts and catnip."

"He'd love it here."

"George? Fred?"

Eager. "Yes?"

"You haven't even thought of how to rid the shop of the squirrel, let alone embrace the beast."

Simultaneously. "Bugger."


	8. Attempt

George opened the door cautiously and peered down the stairwell. Seeing nothing, he placed a foot on the top step and quickly lobbed a dung bomb down the stairs. He then whirled around and darted into the flat.

Fred poked his bubble charm covered head out the door and declared it clear before slowly descending the stairs. Upon reaching the bottom step, he heard a muffled – due to the charm – screech and turned in horror. The squirrel was barking at him from atop the shop counter. Letting out a yell of fright, he raced up the stairs.

"Did you get it?" George and Hermione simultaneously asked.

He shook his head.

"Then what _did_ you do?" Hermione asked, eyes scrunching in suspicion.

Fred scratched the back of his head, remembered the charm and ended it, before saying sheepishly, "I—uh, well, you see, it _barked_ at me. Barked. I panicked and ran."

Hermione stared at him, face slack with awe.

"You didn't cast a single spell at it?"

Fred shook his head minutely.

She dissolved into laughter.


	9. Punishment

"It's not that funny, 'Mione." Fred pouted.

"Oh, yes, it is, Fred. You," she paused as she panted for breath, "ran from a squirrel!" She erupted into peals of laughter.

George stood beside the couch, grinning at his twin.

"I suppose you think you could go down there and face it?" Fred challenged.

Hermione raised a brow, "I would at least cast a spell."

Properly chastised, he threw himself onto the couch beside Hermione and covered his face with his arm.

Groaning, and his voice muffled, "What next?"


	10. Help

Hermione shuffled her feet on the doorstep of 12 Grimmauld Place, sighing, then knocked solidly. A muffled "just a bit" was shouted through the walls, followed by a series of thumps before the door was opened abruptly. Harry Potter stood before her, hair ruffled more than usual and shirt splattered with baby food.

"Hullo!" He cried at her, tugging her forward for a hug before recoiling.

Sheepishly, Harry pulled at his top before shrugging in a "what can you do?" fashion. Grinning, Hermione embraced him, despite the sticky mess that was transferred onto her robes.

"Come in, 'Mione, come in."

Harry ushered her into the sitting room, motioned for her to take a seat, before raising his voice, "Gin, Hermione's here!"

"I'd like to see her, too, Harry! Let me finish feeding James!" Ginny called.

Smiling softly at Harry's look of bliss as he gazed in the general direction of his wife and child, Hermione settled into her usual spot.

As his attention turned back to her, she said, "Unfortunately, I don't have much time today, though I'd love to come by again soon. I actually need to borrow the Invisibility Cloak, if that's all right?"

Harry nodded, "Of course. Let me go get it."

Once the silky material was running over her hands, she chuckled as she looked up to Harry's curious expression.

"There's been a… invasion of sorts at the shop." She laughed.

But upon the scrunch of confusion on Harry's face, she stopped and ran through what she had said.

"Uh, 'Mione. What shop?" He prompted.

"Oh!" She laughed again. "The twins'." She smiled largely.

Harry looked at her peculiarly, "Since when do you smile about Fred and George like that?"

Startled, Hermione's grin slipped off her face and she furrowed her brows at him.

"What do you mean?"

Shaking his head, he murmured, "Never mind," and hid a smile from Hermione.


	11. Attempt Two

Hermione and George descended down the stairs, hidden by the Invisibility Cloak. They would then carefully and quietly manoeuvre around the shop until they found the squirrel. It would be taken out immediately after.

They _did_ carefully and quietly manoeuvre around the shop until they found the squirrel.

It was there that the plan went awry.

As they silently approached the squirrel from the side, its head swung around in their direction. Its black eyes stared into theirs, drilling fear into their chests.

George whispered, "Do you get the feeling it can see us?"

At Hermione's nod, his heart dropped into his stomach and immediately began to burn from the acids. Feeling a bit of sweat gather on his forehead, he asked quietly, "What do we do now?"

The squirrel bared its teeth at them and barked loudly. Jumping, Hermione and George recoiled. It scampered forward, toward them.

"Run." Said Hermione, her voice strangled.

And they did— all the way up to the flat, cloak billowing behind them, and unable to see that the squirrel had stopped chase and was nibbling on the rest of George's lunch.


	12. Dinner

Dinner ended with the pan of pasta exploding and sending pieces of the dish careening away. It was just unfortunate chance that Hermione chose to walk in right as it happened. However, they were able to pick chunks off Hermione – and the tables and walls – to compile a sizeable meal.

"The crisp from the explosion really makes this dish, I must say." George said importantly, sounding incredibly similar to Percy.

Fred leaned toward Hermione, fork in hand and gently speared a pasta shell from her neck, careful not to puncture her before eating it with a grin.

"'Waste not'."


	13. Bugs

Night fell with the three huddled around the coffee table. Parchment was scatted across it, ink spots and slashes blotted out words and drawn diagrams. Hung on the mantle was an illustration of the squirrel, with its sharp eyes darting around, and a black 'WANTED' scribbled across the top. "Incentive." Fred had supplied as he spelled it on.

As the hours passed, they meandered from planning to capture the squirrel to other topics.

"What do you want to be a bloke for, 'Mione?" George asked incredulously.

"They can aim their pee. That's really useful." She said matter-of-factly.

Fred nodded in conceded agreement, "I used to drown bugs."


	14. Laughing

A few turns around the clock past the witching hour found Fred, George, and Hermione asleep on the couch. Multiple bottles of butterbeer rested atop the plans and Exploding Snap cards littered the table. The fireplace glowed, crackling merrily as it cast summery light upon the sleeping figures.

A chittering noise broke the peace, high pitched and unnatural. It grew louder and louder as it came closer to the flat. Fred jerked awake as a particularly loud chortle echoed in the stairwell. Frantic, he roughly shook George's shoulder but gently nudged Hermione. As they woke, a screech mixed with a something close to sniggering ricocheted off the walls.

Jumping, Hermione clutched Fred's hand without thinking and immediately let go, blushing as he glanced down at her.

"What is that?" Hermione asked.

"…I think it's the squirrel." Fred ventured.

"Is it—laughing?" Her eyes squinted in thought.

Fred and George looked at each other, "Laughing Lollies."

"It makes you laugh." George said.

"Uncontrollably." Fred admitted.

"How long?" Hermione inquired, her voice strained as the noise raised a decibel.

"Depends, really." George said sheepishly.

"On how much it ate?" She asked miserably. George shook his head, eyes downcast.

"Body size," Fred whispered sadly.


End file.
